I forgot my son's birthday today. I feel incredible guilt for it but I am also relieved. Maybe I am healing. The pain is still there but it has dulled. I don't think about him every day. I have found joy in my living children; two of which would not be here without Nathan's loss. He would have been four today but in the craziness of life I missed it. We usually take fresh flowers to his grave together as a family. Maybe it is finally time to move on.