Sunday, January 23, 2011
It works!
You know that doppler I have been wanting to use? Well, the time came to give it a try and I had the hardest time finding anything. I started at 10 weeks and found nothing. 11 weeks, nothing. 12 weeks, nothing. I got determined. I looked up online exactly where I was supposed to be placing the thing, followed the directions exactly and, voila, baby heartbeat! I im'd my husband and told him I had found it. He was jealous so I found it again for him. Now, every time I start to get worried about the baby I just listen for a little bit and I feel better. This has been such a stressful week that I have used it three times. I get so convinced that stress will cause the baby to die that I have to check. This may seem crazy, but according to what I have read, I would be abnormal if I didn't worry after what happened last time. My new obsession, now that I can check the heartbeat any time I want, is my weight. I am diabetic. I lost a lot of weight after we lost Nathan and I am now down to a healthy weight. It is extremely hard, if you are following the diet, to gain weight if you are diabetic. Try being pregnant and diabetic. I had my checkup at the ob on Monday and did an inner cheer when I saw that my weight was the same as the time before. I was down only 4 pounds from the start of the pregnancy. I cannot say the same anymore. The things that I have heard, the things that I have found out this week have made stress rear it's ugly head again. Stress=less eating=weight loss. 2 and a half more pounds gone. I am dangerously close to being underweight when this baby is born. I am not likely to gain. So I obsess about whether I will be able to nurse or not. I picture myself wasting away to nothing while trying to feed my baby. If I can't gain weight while pregnant, I definitely won't while nursing. I'll need even more calories then. I really want to nurse this baby and I am worried that it's not going to happen. Stop! God is in control. He knows exactly what is going to happen and no amount of worrying on my part will change a thing. This day really does have enough troubles of it's own. Why add more to it? Lord, help me to trust that you know best. Help calm my fears and anxieties. And please, Lord, if I start worrying again, smack me upside the head and tell me to knock it off.
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Sara, I love that you are hearing the baby's heartbeat, and telling God about your concerns. I know He sees you, and cares deeply about you and this child.
ReplyDeleteAfter you have poured out your heart to Him each day, maybe focus on giving thanks for the good things going on? I praise God for the life of that little one who is being knit together inside of you!
Susan, you are right. I have been focusing way too much on what is going wrong (and what can go wrong) right now when plenty of things are going right. We still have three great kids (that I get to homeschool), a roof over our heads, family and friends to share our joys and burdens with, a great job for my husband, etc. I need to focus on these things and thank God for them.
ReplyDeleteOn a practical note, are you on insulin? There are ways to gain weight as a diabetic without raising your blood sugar. Add fat proteins, like cheese and ham and things like that. Don't eat lean meat. Pretend you are Jack Sprat's wife that couldn't eat lean meat.
ReplyDeleteOn a different note, I am praying for you and if you ever need to talk about babies, diabetes(I have it too) or anything else, I am here. I have been where you are, including your difficulties with church stuff. Don't hesitate to call or write!
Love - Angela