As we get closer

As we get closer to the birth of Henry I am struggling.  I am so excited to meet him face to face yet....what if?  What if he doesn't make it?  What if he is stillborn like Nathan?  What if he dies in his sleep after we take him home?  These fears and the approaching birthday for Henry have brought flashbacks to our experience with Nathan.  Memories are flooding back and I find myself depressed and crying.  The other night I was trying to get to sleep and I kept remembering being in the hospital after we had Nathan.  We had several hours with him and that was it.  No more time to hold him.  I had to hand him over to the nurse knowing that I would never see him again.  I hope and I pray that we will have years and years with Henry but I'm scared that it won't happen.  No one knows what happened with Nathan and I worry that the same thing could happen with Henry.  My husband said he feels like all of the tests they are running on Henry are excessive.  I do not.  Every single one of them is reassurance that he is doing great.  He's big and strong and is passing all tests with flying colors.  We praise God for that.  And we look forward to meeting our little boy face to face.