Sunday, May 8, 2011

Someone is missing.

I got up this morning and was attacked by happy children eager to wish me a happy Mother's Day.  I was showered in cards, some of their making and some they bought in the store.  There were hugs and kisses all around.  I am so blessed. 
The kids ran off to play and I was left on the couch with my thoughts.  Someone is missing.  There should be four kids here right now.  Instead, I have one child cold and buried underground.  He will never make me a Mother's Day card or give me kisses and hugs.  He will never run off to play with his brother and sisters.  I will not get to watch him grow up, get married, have kids of his own.  I am missing him a lot today.  I still don't understand why he had to go to heaven before we even got a chance to get to know him.  I want him back.  Everyone sees my three children and my pregnant belly and they smile.  I want to scream that there is one more; that I am missing my precious little boy.  They look at me and see a happy mother of three and one on the way while in reality I am torn up inside.  There will always be someone missing.  That is something I have to live with every day of my life.   That is my reality. 

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