Friday, June 17, 2011

Some things need to be done alone.

Jim picked up the box for Nathan's things today.  I knew that this would not be an easy day for me.  I felt like I needed to look at every single thing again before I put them in the box.  I cried my way through it.  My son asked me if he could come and help and I had to tell him no.  It was just something I needed to do on my own.  I cried through each picture, card, blanket...it was like I was saying goodbye all over again.  I sat there sobbing and hugging my belly.  Those pesky contradicting emotions were there again.  I ached for Nathan while, at the same time, looked forward to meeting Henry in less than a month. 
The last thing I put in the box was an empty ring box.  I haven't mentioned this here before but I have a simple, small white gold band for each of my children.  I had their names and birth dates engraved on the inside of each ring.  I wear Jack, Anna, and Katherine's rings on a chain around my neck.  We had one made a few days after Nathan was born and it has been on the ring finger of my right hand ever since.  I really felt like it might be time to take it off and put it in with the other things in the box.  I tried, I really did, but it felt like I was ripping my heart out when I took that ring off.  I couldn't do it.  So the ring sits on my finger as a visual reminder of what I have lost.  And the box sits in the family room as a visual reminder to all that there is someone still missing from this family.

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