I am tired.

Tired of dealing with well-meaning people who say stupid things.  Tired of dealing with the everyday problems that come up.  Tired of dealing with people who don't seem to understand that I lost a BABY.  People who would tell you that they are pro-life.  People who say that life begins at conception.  But who somehow feel like my loss was less because he died before he was born.  Here's a newsflash that they will never read because they don't care enough to actually read my blog and find out how I'm doing.  I LOST MY SON!  If you're having a hard time understanding that just imagine life without one of your children.  It's the same thing.  Your precious son or daughter gone.  There one day, gone the next.  Just spend a few minutes thinking about how you would feel.  Then you will begin to understand what I have been though. Maybe.  We named him.  We looked forward to raising him.  We talked about him with our children.  They were excited, too.  We saw him on the ultrasound.  I felt him moving inside me.  We wondered who he was going to look like, act like.  Who he was going to be.  It's all gone.  And our son is buried in the dirt with a pretty grave marker to show he is not forgotten.  I am not okay.  I will never be okay.  There will always be someone missing from this family.  A piece missing from my heart.  So, unless you take the time to really understand what I'm going through please refrain from commenting.  Asking me if we'll name our next son Nathan is insensitive, no matter how great an idea you think it is.  It shows a lack of understanding that we lost our SON.  A person.  Someone who was very much loved and cannot be replaced.  So please, for my sake and yours, don't talk about it unless you take the time to truly understand.  You're not helping.