I'm surprisingly calm.

I expected to be a total wreck during this pregnancy.  I was for the first few days.  It's amazing what a little prayer can do.  I just asked God to give me His peace during this time and you know what?  He did.  I feel a peace.  I feel like things will be okay no matter the outcome.  But I also feel like we will get a live baby this time.  I know there are rocky days ahead.  I expected to be induced two weeks early with Nathan so the 14th is going to be hard.  Then there is his due date, the 28th.  The biggie, though, is going to be the 21 week ultrasound with this baby.  I have so many bad memories of that day with Nathan that I am a little scared of doing it again.  But God will get me through it.  He's gotten me through everything so far and there is no reason to doubt Him now.  I can do this...with God's help.  On another note, I asked God to make this pregnancy different from Nathan's.  I knew I would obsess about every little thing that is the same.  I was very sick with Nathan.  Not really sick with this one.  I was VERY tired with Nathan.  Less so with this baby.  I didn't show with Nathan until a few days before we lost him.  I am already showing now.  God is good.  I realize now how much I was depending on myself to get me through life.  Now, I am turning to God first for help.  And He is answering.  No request is too small for Him.  I know that now.