Please Pardon the Tearstains

I am so sorry I cannot be there for your baby shower on Saturday.  You see, I almost lost it in the card aisle at Target.  I'm just not strong enough to be there.  It was hard to buy the clothes and shoes that I picked out for my little boy.  Even harder to buy the diapers that he will never wear.  But, you are special and so is your baby boy and you deserve a nice present and a party to celebrate.  I'm sorry I haven't been able to look you in the eye when we pass each other in church.  You see, I look at you and I see where I should be, waddling around with swollen ankles, complaining about how heavy my baby is.  But my womb is empty and my baby weighed less than half a pound.  So, you enjoy your day and continue to look forward to meeting your precious baby boy.  I hope someday I can walk up to you and tell you how much I have prayed that your baby will be healthy.  I wouldn't wish what happened to me on anyone.  I hope someday I can walk up to your baby and look at him and congratulate you.  Maybe someday I will even be able to hold him.  Until then, know I love you and I am sorry I am so weak.