I heard it said this morning that a small coffin is the saddest thing ever. I can't argue with that. This is a picture of Nathan's coffin, which was too big for him. Not only did I bury my son, but I buried all of the hopes and dreams I had for him. I know he's in a better place but in my flesh I wanted him to experience so many things here on earth. I wanted to experience things with him. And all of that was placed inside a very small coffin and buried under several feet of dirt. I go visit his grave every week even though I know he's not there. I talk with him about what is going on and tell him how much he is missed. And I picture him cold and small and all alone in the ground. It's irrational, I know, but I have to stop myself from digging him up. And then I look around at all of the other tiny graves near his and I pray for those families. Every one of those graves represents a family that has grieved and is still grieving now and I just want to make it stop. I'm sure that there is a day coming when a new grave will be placed next to Nathan's and I know I will fall apart. I wish there never had to be such tiny coffins. No one should ever have to bury their child.
Lord, come soon so there will be no more pain and suffering.
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