4 Years Later

I forgot my son's birthday today.  I feel incredible guilt for it but I am also relieved.  Maybe I am healing.  The pain is still there but it has dulled.  I don't think about him every day.  I have found joy in my living children; two of which would not be here without Nathan's loss.  He would have been four today but in the craziness of life I missed it.  We usually take fresh flowers to his grave together as a family.  Maybe it is finally time to move on.